The 'TRUE' Twilight Saga
by sillehrabbitz
Summary: You thought you knew EVERYTHING about the Twilight Saga? Think again. Bella is obsessed with vampire fanfiction. Edward Cullen is a WoW addict. Welcome to 'real' version of Twilight...that Stephaine Meyer hid from public viewing.
1. Book I: Vampires R Real? WTF!

Disclaimer: The purpose of this parody is for entertainment. Don't take anything seriously.

VAMPIRES R REAL WTF?

Bella discovers a world she thought was make-believe with the help of a new student.

My name is Bella. I'm just your average girl. I am from town where nobody important or notable lives in Washington. This is my story! Today, I sat in my high school psychology bored to tears. My notes were open, but I was not listening AT ALL. Man today was such a drag. The teacher was teaching something really dull. Ms. Snoozealot called it 'Albert Banana's theory of social whatever'. Do I really care about what these dumb old men theorize about? Should I really care what keeps them up at night? I mean come on seriously do you think I'm paying attention? The teacher was giving us a death by PowerPoint about this boring man and I am so lucky I came prepared. I was in the back row. I would never get caught with this brilliant scheme of a plan. I smiled to myself.

Luckily, I printed out amazingly breathtaking fan fiction at home and snuck it in my psychology book. I am a huge fan of vampires. I wish they were real. Maybe someday one will just whisk me away and take me as his bride. I am excited to wait for such a glorious and joyful day. I flipped through the fan fiction pages and basked in the glory of such amazing literature. This was why Vampire Fan Fiction was my home page at home. Nobody will ever understand the glory of having a lover like the man in this story…PERFECTION!

But then SOMETHING happened that day in school that I did not predict AT ALL. I stumbled on a word as the classroom down swung open. A boy walked in. His skin was pale. He seemed to SHINE with shinyness. He had a great smile. His hair? OH baby don't get me started. It was a ten, hands down. He walked over to the teacher and handed her a slip of paper. I lost my breath and grabbed something out of my bag that I made a long time ago. I flipped open the book and looked at my "Is that Hot Bod a Vampire?" checklist. Shines? Check. Pale Skin? Check. Teeth? Check. Eyes? I took a quick glance up again and almost squealed and that was another check. He was exhibiting all the signs of vampirism. **THIS BOY IS A VAMPIRE.** I hid behind my psychology notebook and giggled. This man was for real. **HE WAS A VAMPIRE. THINGS THAT I DREAMED THAT WOULD HAPPEN WERE HAPPENING NOW.** I am so excited. So beyond pumped. I hoped that he would stay. I hoped that he would sit next to me in the only vacant desk. For the first time since I moved to Washington, I was HAPPY. No longer was I the emo kid with no friends. Oh wait, there was Jill. I blinked,_I always forget._

Of course Ms. Snoozealot looked over at me after getting the note from my dream man and snapped, "What do you think is funny about social cognitive theory?" I put my notebook down and shook my head, "Oh nothing." Absolutely nothing, that is all I have to say about that theory. I don't even know anymore. Why did I sign up for this class again? I guess signing up for this class was my destiny. So I would meet a man like him…

Ms. Snoozealot turned to my dream boat and looked back at the class, "This is Edward. He is a new student here. I hope you all will be nice and courteous to him as he learns our school. He…" She looked down at the paper and then up again, "Was homeschooled before this."

Edward flashed a smile and blushed slightly, "Yes, so.." He looked into the crowd and I totally CHECKED HIM OUT. I mean up and down. Yep, sexyyyyy. He better sit near me. OMGOMGOMG. He ended up walking down the aisle and sat RIGHT NEXT TO ME. The lame teach started teaching again and I read some more of my fan fiction again. Oh everything is going according to plan. I looked up every now and then to looked at him. He had a window seat. He shined. OMFG I LOVE THIS MAN TO PIECES. My only BFF Jill kept on giving me strange looks. She seemed baffled. She did not understand how amazing this man was. Or maybe SHE WANTED TO TAKE HIM AWAY.

Edward's POV

Man I did not want to get out of homeschooling, but my mom insisted that my World of Warcraft addiction was getting a little too out of hand. I sat in this psychology class that my mom made me take totally lost. This was my first day. My mom wanted me to take psychology to help understand myself better, but I already knew what I wanted to do. I want to work for Blizzard or play World of Warcraft competitively. And if that doesn't work out I'll just work my way up the corporate ladder in some company. I had my notebook out and I was trying to pay attention and take notes. However, there was this one girl that kept on giving me strange looks. She looked even more eccentric than me to be honest. I am kinda glad there is someone more strange than me in this school. She did not seem to be paying attention though. She had 'other' reading materials. Conflict of interest? Maybe. I wonder how my guild is doing…I have to go to the game store and get the newest expansion to raid…

Back to Bella's POV

BAM, that class bell rang like it was going out of style. Smell you later Ms. Snoozealot. I am so outta this joint. Then Jill stopped me. She gave me 'the look' and rolled her eyes, "I see you checking him out."

I nodded, "Why yes, I am. He's hot amrite?"

Jill nodded in agreement, "I suppose so." She adjusted her glasses and looked at the clock, "It seems to be time to go home. I will be taking my leave." She walked away, but that was okay. I HAD A DATE WITH DESTINY. I saw mah love interest down the hallway and trailed his ass. By the way vampires have fine asses too,. Well he is just a slice of heaven isn't he? LIKE IN MY FAN FICTIONS, BUT TEN TIMES BETTER. I followed him outside of the school. This was amazing. He did not look back once. I am sure he does not suspect me AT ALL. He seemed to be going to the business district where they sell lots of cool stuff. I wonder he has a place where all the vampires meet. Oh I am so PSYCHED.

Edward's POV

I walked and I walked. I could not wait to get to Best Games to get my hands on the new expansion. My buddies were going to play in the gamers basement of the store after getting the expansion. We are going to RAID TILL OUR HANDS FALL OFF. I reached the store and felt weird. I feel like something is weird. Ah well just must be from my first day of school. I'm tired, but it is TIME TO RAID. I walked into Best Games and went to the register. He knew what I want. I was a regular. He slipped me the game and said, "Have a good time." I slipped him a twenty and flashed a quick grin. I walked down into the basement and saw my guildies all set up in the dark room with only the computers glowing. This is where all the magic happens. TIME TO RAID.

Bella's POV

I stood in front of Best Games a bit baffled. Was this where vampires met? I was confused, but excited at the same time. I walked in and saw that my lover walked downstairs. What was downstairs? THE VAMPIRES? The cashier looked oddly at me. I knew him from somewhere. He was my next door neighbor. He was a perv. He liked naked animoo girls from Japan. HE HAS NO TASTE. Vampires are way better. I rolled my eyes. Stupid boys checking me out. I should of gotten my mace out, but my destiny was downstairs. I dashed down there and was shocked. My jaw dropped. A dark room. A bunch of pale men. Gathered around laptop screens. I fell over in shock mumbling, "SO YOU ARE A VAMP-". I blanked out.

Edward's POV

Suddenly our raid stopped for a second. I frowned. It was that crazy chick from psychology. She followed me here? And now thinks I'm a vampire. I shook my head at the fainted girl and looked back at my guildies who were laughing up a storm. I mumbled,**"I am not a vampire, I just play too much World of Warcraft."**

The cashier upstairs said he lived next door to her and picked her up. He took her away. I sat back down and got back to raiding. Man guess school is going to get a little crazy…with a girl like that sitting next to me.


	2. Book II: Werewolves are Real?

BOOK II: Werewolves are Real?

BELLA CAN'T DECIDE IF SHE WANTS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A WEREFOLF OR A VAMPIRE. THE SEQUEL TO R VAMPIRES REAL IS FINALLY OUT. IT IS WHAT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. THIS IS THE TWILIGHT MEYER DOESN'T WANT YOU READ, BUT YOU WILL AND YOU WILL EAT IT UP.

NEW MOON, NEW STRUGGLES, NEW EPIC BATTLES, OH GET READY. Let us begin where we left off last with our lovely heroes and villians…

I am slowly gaining his love. He left school for a while. His name is Edward Cullen. He is a dream boat like those men from Vampire Knight. Once you look into a vampire's eyes, you fall in love and become hypnotized. It is like a spell. I can't get myself away from Edward. He is my soulmate. I know it. I'm obsessed with vampires, I'll admit. I read too many fan fictions. I even wrote a research paper on why vampires exist. Douchebag teach failed me, but I know they are real. My mom wants me to go to one of those white coat places, but you know I keep on fighting her. She'll know when the time is right. Edward is my freaking life line!

I keep on flashing back to that fateful day when my beloved Edward left me. We were in the forest. I followed him there. He was pale. He looked serious. He told me, "I have to go."

I asked him while sobbing hysterically, "WHY EDWARD WHY?"

Edward replied, "It's my destiny." He walked off.

I screamed, 'IS IT BECAUSE YOU ARE A VAMPIRE?"

Edward continued to walk.

Edward's POV

I walked off and fast, she was trailing me after school that day. I had to get to my Warcraft tournament. It was going to be held in China and I needed to go. She still thinks I'm a vampire, oh gee. Hopefully I won't be back for a while.

Back to Bella

But he is gone now and there is nothing I can do about it. I spend my days drawing vampire comics and posting them on Deviant Art. I get some views and some fans about my unusual romance. My one-sided love with a vampire.

Then someone else came along when Edward vanished. I never thought there were lots of fish in the sea, but my bff Jill told me I needed to move on. If I waited for Edward forever, and he never came back…then all the good men will either be taken, gay, or married. I think she's just jealous I found my soulmate, but then there was a boy named Jacob. He wasn't a vampire or anything special. BUT HE SPARLKED, OH HOW HE SPARLKED. AND IF HE TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF, OH WHAT AN AMAZING BODY.

I think my bff Jill is a witch who summoned this guy to distract me from my true soulmate, but oh Edward will never find out about my lover Jacob will he? So I went on a date with him. My bff Jill hooked me up with his MSN handle. I spammed him until he said I could go out with him. This was great. My first date. I wanted it to be with Edward, but HE LEFT. Alas the teen heart repairs quickly.

Jacob picked me up in his mom's mini van. I never knew he was a mama's boy underneath that hot body. I think I'm in lust personally, but whateverrrrr I got me a mannnn. Jacob parked in the middle of the forest and said, "You know I could go hunting tonight." I was so confused. I didn't get it.

He went outside with a big ass shot gun. I didn't get it. What was he going to do? He shot out a shot. It hit…FREAKING BAMBI. WTF I WANT TO BREAK UP WITH THIS PSYCHO BASTARD. WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO NEXT KILL ME? He went deeper into the forest. I wanted to go home, but I'm so poor I don't have my license to drive mini vans. I only have one to drive busted up cars. Plus I don't wanna look like a soccer momma just yet. Not until Edward and I have ten kids!

Then I saw it. A HUGE WEREWOLF. LIKE TEN FEET TALL WITH A SHOTGUN IN HIS HANDS. Jacob is a werewolf. He was attacking me. I got pushed off to the end of a ledge. Oh Edward where are you. WHERE ARE YOU? Everything…blanked out….

I have…one final word to tell you…werewolves are real.

-Jacob-

I found Bella on the ground. It was too late. The bear pushed her off the ledge. The last word she said was werewolves are real..I was confused. I reported it to the police and they said she had problems in the past…it is just too bad. I should have gone on a movie date instead of a hunting date. Ah well…life goes on right? Life in Washington was always crazy…

Afterwards, I met Bella's bff Jill. She was a sweet girl. She was really sad Bella left. She was very cute. She dressed up like a catgirl and loved to read manga and anime. Edward seems to like her. Bella has been away from us for a while. I keep on sending gifts to the hospital, but her parents and hospital attendants keep on throwing it back at me and giving me a stern look. I wonder what I did? I guess my first date was a total fail. I have to take Bella out sometime.


	3. Book III: A Solar Eclipse of the Heart

Disclaimer:

T for Girl Drama and Curse Words, You were warned.

BOOK III: A SOLAR ECLIPSE OF THE HEART

Background:  
It has been about a month since the events of Werewolves are real. Jill is going out with Edward. Bella is nowhere to be found. Most people think she moved out of town. But something unexpected happened this month.

Bella's POV:  
I managed to get out of rehab. I was walking again. Mom also took me to the nutty doctor. I don't know what happened. All I know is that my Edward never came to visit. Maybe he was still gone? When would he come back? I missed him dearly. Our love with still strong. My love with a vampire. I walked into school. It was my first day in about a month. Many people stared at me oddly.

Jacob looked at me funny. He was scarlet. He looked like he just saw a dead person. I rolled my eyes. This was ALL because of him. That damn werewolf. Sure they are sexy when they take their shirts off, but they really know how to hurt a girl. I grumbled, "Stupid boy."

Jacob replied to me, "I'm sorry, but you do kn-"

I cut him off. I knew it already. He was a god damn werewolf. I coughed, "Yeah I know leave me alone." I needed to leave this temping siren that kept me from Edward. I looked around in the hallway and saw something...

My BFF Jill. I could notice her long red locks and straight bangs from miles away. She wore classic Lolita clothing and today she was wearing pure white. She looked like a doll. It was weird. I shook my head, "Jill what did I tell you about wearing..." Someone was behind her. A pale faced angel. My lover. He had Jill's bookbag. What has been happening between the two of them? Jill turned around to face me and looked red in the face. She looked back to my pale faced angel and frowned.

Edward got in front of her and looked serious. He spoke, "She looks beautiful. At least she doesn't shop at emo topic like you do."

I gasped. Edward questioned my choice of clothing. I dyed my hair black. I wore black eye shadow. I wore a black shirt and black pants with a black belt today. I frowned, "But I thought you liked my style darling." I walked over to him to reach my hand out and he pushed away and put his hand on Jill's shoulder while Jill frowned again. I was so confused. Why is he so close to Jill?

Jill tugged at the ends of her hair and said in a low voice, "I think you need to go Edward." She grabbed her bookbag off of Edward and walked slowly over to me with her head down. I didn't get it. Why was Jill so...sad? I smiled at her and patted her on the shoulder, "I see you were taking care of my love while I was away. When did he get back?"

Jill looked away, "The day you were hospitalized. There is...something..." She tapped her shoes together and looked at me like she was trying to get away from here like when Dorothy tapped her shoes to go home. She shouted, "I need to TELL you about Edward, Bella. I...am in a...relationship with him...so stop talking about him like you are his lover!"

I dropped my books and just stood there with my mouth wide open, "HOW DARE YOU. YOU BITCH. YOU KNOW I LIKED HIM FIRST. WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME. YOU KNOW HE WAS MY EVERYTHING."

Jill gulped, "But I thought you were with Team Jacob now. That's what Jacob told me. You went out on a date with him. The whole school knows you liked Edward then two-timed him while he was away taking care of business...Bella you do know that you hurt Edwards feelings by going out with Jacob.."

I stomped on my books. What the hell is wrong with this girl. I did not love Jacob. Jacob entranced me. That's what werewolves do. He must have the whole school convinced that I love him. No wonder Edward didn't visit me in the hospital. Jill jumped at the opportunity to get with my guy when he was hurting.

BFF Jill's POV

I saw Bella stomp on the books and was mighty confused. Why did she care? I thought she was with Jacob. I walked off and left her alone. It was time to ask Jacob about this situation.

Jacob was the usual jock kinda guy. He was sitting in the cafeteria skipping his science class as usual. He had a soda and some football strategies on the table and he saw me and waved, "Hey Jill, what's kicking girl?"

I smiled at him and sat down, "I have some business to discuss. You said you went out with Bella right and that she clicked with you. Why is she still in love with Edward?"

Jacob shrugged, "Beats me I thought Bella and I were boyfriend and girlfriend. But her parents rejected all my presents from the hospital, so I figured they either hate me or she does. I'm confused."

Bella walked into the cafeteria and stared at Jacob and I. She sat down and mumbled, "I might as well skip psychology with Jill, I have no purpose in life anymore..."

Jacob turned to Bella and gave her a little kiss on the cheek. Jacob put his arm around Bella and smirked, "Hey Babe. We can go back inside my mini-van. There's plenty of room!"

Bella gave a slap to him in the face and moved a bit away. She looked annoyed.

I face-palmed a bit, "Bella are you guys really going out? Then forget about my boyfriend...seriously. You can't have TWO MEN. You can either be on team Edward or Jacob. ONLY ONE! NOT BOTH."

Bella's POV

Picturing Jacob and I in a mini-van with plenty of space was temping. I kinda wanted to go, but NO this boy will not temp me any longer. I need to stay with my vampire lover. He is my one true love and Jill will not stop this. I flailed, "NO I AM TEAM EDWARD FOREVER BITCH. NOW BACK OFF. I will get my man back."

Jill looked kinda sad and just got up and left. I looked at Jacob and pounded my fist to the table, "Listen up we are nothing. You are a mamas boy. Who drives around in their mom's mini van picking up chicks? Edward is my boy." I walked back to psychology and sat in my usual spot next to Edward. He looked rather pale. I could not tell if he was shaken. Jill was not in the classroom. The psychology teach was not too happy to have me back. She was like, "WTF Bella can't you take another month off. I'm sick of you reading fanfics in my class."

I got out another fan fiction and stared at Edward and giggled a bit. I brought a lemon fan fiction story about vampires by mistake. I thought I marked the NC-17 stories for home only. The bell rang and class ended, but I was still red faced and reading the fanfic. Edward passed by and I dropped the papers ALL OVER THE PLACE. I gulped and he looked at me like 'wut wut'.

He picked up the papers and looked at them and looked at me oddly, "You know you can get suspended for bringing porn to class." He placed the papers on my desk and dashed off.

I didn't get it why did he run? Did he think I made fan fiction about him doing the nasty? I did, but this literature in question was not about him.

Edward POV

I dashed out of the room. All this time she was waiting for me. All this time she was reading about me. I am kinda creeped out. She is Jill's bff right? I really have to break up with that chick before Bella makes sex tapes or gives Jill a camera to follow me around all day. This needs to stop. All I want to do is play WORLD OF WARCRAFT IN PEACE. Geezus. Women outside of game are annoying. They need to stop fantasizing about vampires, they aren't real. Maybe if they were blood elves I would be happier. I stopped at the end of the hallway to see a teary eyed Jill.

She did not look up at me she only repeated, "We can't be together. I don't want to risk my friendship with Bella. We have been friends since she moved here in Washington. She has no other friends. I feel sorta guilty. I also miss talking to her. And I think I only liked you because Bella did. We shared a lot of things. Unless you want to be shared by the both of us..."

I gulped, "Uh no thanks, we can be just friends ok. Bye." I dashed off. Man this chicks are weird. Sharing? No. I think I'm taking a week off from school to play World of Warcraft.

Bella's Point of View

I dashed out into the hallway and fell on my knees when I saw Edward walk out that doll. I screamed, "NO DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE. I NEED YOU." Will he ever come back?

Jill looked over at me and pointed to the door, "I know how to get to him...World of Warcraft."

I gasped, "Why didn't I think of that Jill. Lets get suited up to GAME!"

FIND OUT IN ROFL WAFFLES BREAKING WORLD OF WARCRAFT


	4. Book IV: Breaking World of Warcraft

BREAKING WORLD OF WARCRAFT: The Stunning New York Times Best Selling ending to the saga that will rule mankind

Background: Bella is ready to go where no real female has gone before (or so they say...there are no girls on the internet?) on the internet. She will embark on a quest for Edward in the digital realm of World of Warcraft.

Bella sat at the computer table looking quite confused. She looked back at Jill, "Wait I don't get it. How do I get on the Internet?" She had a three boxes: World of Warcraft, Burning Cursade, Wraith of the Lich King, and Cataclysm. She had no idea how to use them. She grumbled, "Man this is the last time I go to Best Games. This is how they told me I can get to the other world, but what do I do next."

Jill sat on Bella's bed and rolled her eyes, "You know boot up your computer and put the CDs in the box in the CD Rom Drive. Then put in the CD keys for all the expansions."

Bella pulled at the ends of her hair, "I don't own a computer...HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE OTHER WORLD NOW."

Jill shook her head. How can this woman have a computer desk, but no computer? She got up and looked around, "Are there any computers in your house."

Bella sighed, "My dad has one locked up in the closet that used to be mine. He told me to stop looking up fan fiction. He shut down my vampire fan fiction website. WHAT A MONSTER."

Jill looked at Bella like she was crazy and rolled her eyes, "I'll be back. I learned some skills being a rogue trolling World of Warcraft when I went out with Eddy."

Bella had her jaw open wide in shock. DID SHE JUST CALL BELLA'S LOVER EDDY? THEY HAD NICKNAMES? HOW DARE HER. She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair tapping her feet against the desk, "Hurry up before they come out with ANOTHER expansion. I just spent all my money on a lifetime subscription and all these expansions."

Jill came back in with the laptop and put it on the desk chuckling to herself, "You know the 15 dollars you just spent. It is not a lifetime subscription. It only lasts 30 days."

Bella flailed her hands in the air, "What? This is horrible. I have to win Edward back by then. That's it Jill, you have to help me find him in game. Don't introduce me as Bella. I need to win his love as a mysterious woman."

Jill rolled her eyes and opened her laptop, "Lucky you I'm a level 85 Rogue Blood Elf who plays on his server." Jill logged on and looked over at Bella, "Those boxes don't open themselves. Get to it bff."

Bella opened the boxes and put in the CD keys as Jill instructed. She then began downloading. Bella's eyes widened as she saw the time, "2 DAYS. I am wasting two days of my membership JUST DOWNLOADING. Jill please let me use your laptop to log in please."

Jill turned away, "Uh no I have to go raid with some hot guys that aren't Edward." She giggled, "The men on this server have sexy voices and love my cuteness. Oh and Edward is in our guild, but he is kinda the dork. I don't get whyyy you want him, I found out the sea is bigger and more fish are in it. BIGGER FISH."

Bella looked at the screen and the people's avatars and crossed her arms, "They may look hot in game, but outside of game I bet they are fat ugly gamers living in their moms basements Jill."

Jill quickly put down her headset and stared at Bella in shock, "You do know I was just chatting with them in real time and they heard what you said. They might not let you in our guild to chill with Eddy."

Bella turned away and looked at the download screen, "It's ok because I'll be a new mysterious person they won't know...hehehehehe.." She stared at the screen, "36 more hours...36 more hours..."

Jill gamed on Bella's bed while Bella was staring at the download screen like a zombie.

...20 hours later...

Bella is still staring at the screen, "Please I need to play this game..." She heard a beep, "Download...COMPLETE? I thought it said 36 hours...glorious gaming. JILL WHAT DO I DO NEXT..." She looked over at the bed and saw Jill sleeping with her laptop shut down. Bella got up and shook Jill, "Help the new world awaits and I need you to pick out my style."

Jill woke up feeling tired and out of place, "You were up all this time waiting for the game to download?"

Bella nodded, "Yes... I was. Now what do I be? A human?"

Jill looked at the select screen and shook her head, "First off that's alliance and you wouldn't be able to play with Edward. you want to pick a race in the horde like the rest of us. Second off why be a human in a fantasy game. You are so dumb for real."

Bella got out a notepad and started taking notes, "I see, so I am one of these creatures on this side?"

Jill nodded, "Yeah, but lots of guys like Blood Elf chicks. I figure since you are easy and kinda dumb you might was well pick out a blonde-ish one vs. my red headed smart one. Guys also dig healers and you probably aren't smart enough to do anything besides healing so...I'll make you a priest too..." She selected the style for Bella and she looked very amused.

Bella nodded, "Uh huh, I look sexy. Do you think Edward will like me?"

Jill shrugged, "I guess, now what about the name? It can't be Bella that is totally taken."

Bella gasped, "My name is taken already. How about ALLEBA."

Jill types in Alleba and it says she can use it and nods, "You can use that. But isn't it just Bella backwards with a A added on at the end. Won't Edward know it's you?"

Bella shrugged, "Whatever, it's cute and fashionable." She pushed Jill out of the way and logged into the game, "Now what do I do, where is my dearest?"

Jill sighed, "First you have to go through a tutorial. once you get to level ten you can apply to our guild. Usually we have a rep in Silvermoon scouting new guildies. Oh and this is a RP server so you have to act your part.

Bella sighed, "I'm bored already Jill can you go through the quests." She made a puppy dog face, "Pwezzz sissy from another mister. Make up for the fact you stole my guy."

Jill grumbled, "Fine.." Jill takes the laptop and looks over at Bella, "Go do something for two hours."

Bella goes over to her drawer and gets out her vampire fan fiction stash. She reads it with a smile on her face, "Edward will be mine soon!" She gets out her hand made Edward plushe and hugs it, "You'll be wooed by me in this other world my love."

Jill is over at the computer doing all the hardwork of leveling and walking around.

Two hours pass and Jill looks over at Bella napping. Alleba leveled up to ten now and she could now leave the starting area and possibly apply to the guild. She poked her, "Yo, I did it for you, now will you quit bugging me. I kinda need to go home. Go to Silvermoon and look for Erwind. He'll be there to see if you are worthy. Remember to act."

Bella sat at the computer and smiled, "Erwind you are the one who holds my destiny with Edward now. Please accept me and let me into your flock."

-In Game-  
Alleba walks down the grass path to Silvermoon City. She looked around and jumped a bit. There was a avatar, a male Blood Elf named Erwind in front of the Silvermoon City inn. He seemed to be waiting and kept on sending out shouts, "Join the Silvermoon Raiders and find your place. We accept newcomers and we enjoy a good fight."

Alleba waves to Erwind, "Hello, I would like to join your guild. Someone sent me."

Erwind bowed, "Hello ma'am you wish to join?"

Alleba: YES OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET MY LOVE.

Erwind: This is not an online dating service...

Alleba: Do you know Edward?

Erwind:...-logs off-

-Outside of game-

Bella stares at the screen confused, "I don't get it why did Erwind leave when I asked that? Ugh I give up, this game is real boring." Bella logged off and turned off her laptop. She stormed down the stairs and ran outside.

Her parents in the living room watching tv looked at each other and said in unison, "What's her problem now?"

Bella ran and she ran. She saw the sign for Best Games and walked inside. She looked down in the basement. There it was the dark room where Edward was and he was there in the darkness again. She came downstairs and saw his computer was vacant and grinned, "You know what I have to say about this game? YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO SAY." His disks in his mini disk holder by his computer sat there. She pulled them out and broke all of them into two. She looked at the computer in awe, "Erwind...WAS HIM?" She logged out and found a button 'delete'. She clicked delete, then typed in caps DELETE. She looked around in his computer and clicked uninstall. She rubbed her hands together, "Destroy, break this world in order to get to my vampire love."

Edward came out of the bathroom and saw Bella there and his jaw dropped, "Uh...what are you do-" He looked at his broken disks and his uninstalled game, "I invested...months into this game maybe even a whole year...why did you." He fell to his knees, "NOT MY CHARACTER. MY HARDWORK FOR SO MANY YEARS GONE TO WASTE. WHYYYYY!"

Bella closed his laptop and sat down in his chair staring at him, "It is time for an intervention Edward. I know what you are." She looked at him crouched over in the fetal position and turned on the light, "I know why you play this other world. You don't want to live in this world because you are a vampire." You just don't know it."

Edward could not look up, the light blinded him, "I need to log in, I need to log in." He repeats this over and over again.

Bella gets up and looks at him, "I think you need to stop playing this game and just be who you are in real life. A vampire."

Edward opened one eye and looked over at her, "How many times do I have to tell you I JUST PLAY TOO MUCH WORLD OF WARCRAFT AND STAY IN THE DARK. I'm only 17 years old and I'm not a vampire."

Bella's looked shocked, "...You never told me that. But you were showing all the signs. I never thought that World of Warcraft addicts and Vampires had something in common."

Edward got up slowly and blinked, "You just ruined my life in the five minutes I was gone to go to the bathroom you know."

Bella shrugged, "I guess I won't bother you again since you aren't a vampire. Back to the fan fiction and saving up to sign up for that vampire dating service they have." She walked off and Edward fell to the ground sobbing.

Edward lost Erwind his main character. All because of a girl who thought he needed an intervention. Maybe it was time to quit and get a tan? A few weeks later, Edward called up Jacob, "Hey Jacob can we hang out a little more. I am thinking of kicking my addiction."

EPIC LOG: What happened after the story occurred!

Edward: After five years of therapy and hanging out with Jacob and his shirtless guidos from Washington shore, Edward was able to kick his World of Warcraft addiction. He logs in from time to time to check up on his old guild members. He spends most of his days lounging in the sun with hot chicks. He became a film writer because he used his experience from all his years as a creative RPer.

Bella: Bella graduated high school somehow and managed to work at Burger King while signing up for the Vampire Dating Service. She managed to meet a guy who says he is a vampire and she plans to get married to him and have lots of 'vampire babies'.

Jill: Jill a red headed, blue eyed Irish girl who loved Lolita clothing managed to start up a store devoted to cute and stylish fashion for those who love to stand out. Jill's Boutique is popular in Washington among strange girls who like to stand out. Jill also managed to still maintain her friendship with Bella and they talk from time to time about their romances. Jill married a rich guy who is ten years older than her from World of Warcraft. Some say she was always a gold digger.

Jacob: Jacob decided to make a reality show called "Washington Shore". He figured he could spend most of his days shirtless if he made it big. It became a hit for a while, so now Jacob is rich and fabulous. He never did graduate high school. He skipped too much class. He has no girlfriend because he says quote quote 'Bella was my first and only love'. He still wishes she would stop the vampire fangirling and just come back to him.


End file.
